i didnt expect things to turn out this way..
it was pretty bad
and i'm really sorry.
i'm disappointed with myself too.
maybe a thousand apologies won't heal the wound.
maybe time will?
but not so soon
i dont know why..
but, something really's wrong with me?
things have been going quite bad for me this month
was it because of that incident?
or am i just too superstitious?
and..
i just couldn't know why,
no matter how hard i tried,
i couldn't sleep last night.
maybe i did sleep a little.
less than 2 hours?
i was tossing and turning on my bed for more than two hours.
and it just made me went bonkers.
i really wanna know what's with me these few days.
standing outside the hq today,
i felt very tired..
i felt like just giving up on everything,
i felt like ending it all..
sitting in the car,
i saw how beautiful the area was,
but yet it seem too dull..
i have always loved watching beautiful scenery,
but it didn't appeal to me today at all..
i know it's still not the end of the world..
but i couldn't convince myself..
although i knew that it didn't matters to me a lot..
but yet i felt like a lot to me after i failed..
because i made a stupid mistake..
a very stupid mistake..
or rather..
mistakes..
it was easy..
but i failed..
miserably..
the theory didn't killed me.
i got killed by the practical..
but well,
i couln't do anything now..
i'm tired
i'm depressed
i'm disappointed
i suck.
